Homily for the Funeral of My Dad, +Eugene Anthony "Gene" Dore

 

My Funeral Homily for My Dad

+Eugene Anthony “Gene” Dore (July 12, 1936 – July 21, 2023)

St. Joseph Monastery Church, Irvington, Baltimore, Maryland.  August 14, 2023, 10:30 a.m.

“On one occasion Jesus spoke thus: “I give praise to  you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to the childlike. Yes, Father, such has been your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son wishes to reveal him. ‘Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light’.”                                Matthew 11:25-30 

Good Morning!

It is never easy for me to preside over or to celebrate the funeral for someone I greatly loved, and in this case, this is so very true today as we gather to celebrate the life of my dad +Gene Dore.   Such a task is challenging, but I must say that on the other hand my father does makes it somewhat easier because he was a man of tremendous faith!  

My dad really prided himself on his Catholic faith, and we all know that sometimes he even got a little “talkative,” or we might say “passionate,” about his religious thoughts and opinions!  The strong faith my dad had was nurtured right here in this parish of St. Joseph’s Monastery.  My dad received the Sacrament of Baptism here, as did my grandmother +Francis, his sister Mary Ann, and his brothers Tom and Joe as well.  In fact me too, as well as my brother Michael, and also my sisters Nancy, Kelly, Tracy, and Patricia.  For generations, countless of our extended family members called “the Monastery” home! 

A few years ago when we were pre-planning my dad's funeral, and because this is our home parish, he requested that we celebrate this day here and in this church.  He wanted his funeral at “the Monastery” because he loved this place.  I know that my dad is looking down upon us today with happiness because he is back in the parish where he was born and raised.  Moreover, it was here that my dad and mom raised their own family.  It was also here in the past that so many extended members of the Dore family and very many of our relatives and good friends were very active parishioners.  It is so good to be “home!”

During his life, my father was also very active in the Knights of Columbus, something about which he was very proud.  For this reason, I want to thank the Knights for being here at the funeral today.  My father was also an active member of the Ancient Order of Hibernians, an organization that helped him to celebrate his Irish heritage and that side of his family’s history.  The Hibernians are also another very Catholic organization and so his membership was another source of great pride for him.  In fact, my mom and dad also joined the Polish American Club, which also tended to be very Catholic, and although they were not Polish, they said they liked the bus trips and the great food!  

During the many years my mom and dad lived in Ocean City, they were very involved in the life of their parish there: Saint Luke.  They were daily Mass attendees, and my dad got very involved as an Usher, as a money counter, and all kind of other parish activities.  He even had keys to the church, and would open it for the morning Mass.  

I have to be honest and tell you that if I was visiting my dad, I tended very much to avoid any kind of conversations about religion and/or politics.  We did not always see “eye to eye” on such topics, but that was okay because he was always very happy to talk about the weather, about the beach, about our family, and about all kinds of other subjects.  We usually always deferred to those kind of subjects, although I do remember one time when we got into a “knock-down and heated argument” about something he had seen on the EWTN Catholic News Network.  Just a bit into our lively exchange, I said, “Wait, what are we doing here,” and so we quickly changed the subject and went back to our normal friendly tone of conversation.  That is how my dad was.

I am really going to miss him because he was not just my dad; he was also a very good friend to me.  I very much enjoyed being with him, and as you heard in the eulogy Hannah delivered today, my sisters, their husbands, my nieces and nephews, and so many others, very much enjoyed being with him.  He was a conversationalist, and he always had an opinion about something; he had a great sense of humor, and he could always tell a good story; he had a great sense of adventure, and even loved to have fun.  Therefore, we are all certainly going to miss him tremendously.

As I was thinking about what I wanted to talk about today, the word that kept coming to my mind was the word “longing.”  Is it not true that all of us have “longings of the heart?”  We all “long for something.”  We long for better tomorrows, we long for good health, we long for strong finances, we long for decent jobs, we long for friendly neighbors, we long for good relationships with our family members and friends, we long to find love, but unfortunately sometimes we do not find satisfactions to the longings of our hearts.  And so, I think this is where we then have to look at those longings from the perspective of FAITH.  My father certainly did that. 

In the Gospel today we heard a message from Jesus I believe can address the dilemma of unfulfilled and/or frustrated longings.  Jesus said, “Come to me all you who labor and are heaving burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon your shoulders and learn from my, for my yoke is easy and my burden light.”  I love this passage because Jesus did not promise his disciples that if they were faithful followers there would be no yoke, or no burdens to carry.  He just said his yoke is easy and his burden is light.  In other words, I think the Scriptures tell us, and my dad certainly believed that Jesus is with us in whatever trials and difficulties come to us in life.  This includes those moments when the longings of our hearts are not immediately satisfied, if ever they are.  We can be sure that trials and difficulties are bound to happen during our lives.  However, the message of Jesus is that if we continue to keep our eyes focused on that for which we long for as people of faith, he will make the yokes we shoulder, and the burdens we carry, a lot easier to endure.  For us, the root of this confidence resides in our knowledge that God loves us more than we can possibly imagine, that God wants us to be happy in this life, and that God desires for us to be very hopeful for life to come.  And I think my father understood these ideas very clearly, and he lived his life accordingly!   

It might seem somewhat old fashioned to some, but one of the things I liked about my dad was that he was very proud of his Catholic upbringing and he had a very strong sense of faith.  From the earliest days of his childhood, and especially as he was encouraged to do so by the Christian Brothers at Calvert Hall during his high school years, my dad faithfully prayed the rosary.  He always kept a rosary in a special pouch in his pocket, and sometimes he would pull it out as if it were a badge, boldly proclaiming he had it with him.  He would say, “I have my beads with me.”  His attachment to his rosary always impressed me because frankly, I do not carry one as he did, but for him it was very important and I believe it said a lot about his faith life.  Moreover, he did so because he believed it was a constant reminder about the need to pray; among other things, it reminded him of the need to pray for a peaceful death, something for which we ardently hope when we pray the Hail Mary.  That always inspired me!  

My dad was also very devout when it came to receiving the Eucharist.  He normally went to daily Mass and of course on every Sunday and Holy Day.  Any time I would ever plan to visit him if he was in the hospital, he would remind me to bring Communion for him.  My dad was very serious about the reception of the Blessed Sacrament.  He also had some very strong feelings about how that should be done (let’s just say we had a few “discussions” about whether or not Communion should be taken in the hands or on the tongue).  My dad received the Eucharist with great devotion and love!  This devotion was rooted in his knowledge, faith, and in the longing of his heart to live in God’s love.  My dad’s strong Eucharistic faith was in a God who loved him, who sacrificed his Son for him, and who inspired him in that faith to share it with others by the way he lived his life.  I really believe these things were core values in his faith and in his life, and he lived them well.  And so, as he went through his life, he was a faithful son, a dedicated brother, a great husband, a wonderful father, a good neighbor, and a dependable colleague at work.  We have all heard many of stories about how much people loved and cared-about my dad, and none of this seems unreal to me.  I believe the way people describe his gentleness and sense of humor, his congenial friendship, his care and concern for others, the way he lived his life, and many of his other wonderful qualities, found definition through his strong Christian and Catholic faith!

For some time now, and especially during his last few weeks with us, my father suffered with cancer and we all know that can be a horrible thing. Yet as a person of faith, my father did not seem to doubt that whatever struggle he had, whatever yoke or burden he would carry, that God would be with him.  Because of the longings of his faith and his heart, my dad believed and he was on the way to meet the Lord.  And I think part of that, which he often said, was that he couldn’t wait to see my mom again!

I think that after my mom died five years ago (and after a rather long illness) a whole part of my dad was missing.  He always talked about my mom, how much he missed her, and I know that my dad loved my mother very much.  He was devoted to her in life, and even after she was gone, and that inspired me too.  Today we can take a little bit of comfort in this knowledge that my dad, this person of faith who lived his entire life as a faithful Christian, and as a faithful Catholic, has arrived at that place that he longed for his whole life.  And that place is in the presence of God at the Heavenly Banquet and with those who have gone before us whom he loved, including my mom who no doubt was there waiting with open arms and much joy!   

A few weeks ago, as I walked into my dad’s house and greeted him, I found him to be a little “out of sorts.”  Maybe it was because of the strong pain medications he was taking.  Shortly after I arrived, he said to me “Where’s your mother?  Where is she?  I thought she was going to be here.”  I could only respond by saying, “Dad she’s not here right now, but you’ll see her soon.”  And then, a couple of days before he died and as he was lying in bed, he clutched and kept gazing upon a photo of he and my mom together.  And he said to me and my sisters who were with him, “She looks really happy in this picture.  I can’t wait so see her again.”  And so, I know that’s where my dad is now.  And that’s what he longed for: he longed to be with God, and in recent days he longed to be with my mom who in her life was also a person of faith.  I am very sure they’ve now had a wonderful and joyful reunion in heaven!   

With all of this in mind, I want to close out my thoughts here with a beautiful letter that my dad wrote to my mom many years ago, sixty-four years ago to be exact.  He wrote the letter when he was very young and when he was a member of the United States Coast Guard stationed away from Baltimore in Portsmouth, Virginia.  He wrote this a little more than a year before they were to be married.  By the way, this envelope has two, two cent stamps on it—four cents to mail the letter, can you imagine?  

I read the letter a couple of weeks ago, and I thought to myself, Oh my God this perfectly describes my dad!   I mean this about the way he expresses himself in the letter, and the way he talks about how much he wants to see my mom again.  I believe these were also his very real feelings even in these past few years,  This letter he wrote so many years ago perfectly matched what he more recently thought, especially in these last days as he knew he was dying.  Therefore, I took comfort reading the letter because I imagined my father could have written the words in it just four weeks ago.  I want to read it to you.  Remember my father was about twenty years old when he wrote the letter. 

It’s addressed to Miss Carolyn M. Winterling, 1500 Latrobe Park Terrace, Baltimore 30, Maryland (the old way they used to write addresses).  It’s dated August 12, 1958.   

<<Dear Carolyn:

There are just a few words that are of any importance to me in this letter.  I miss you very much, and wish that I were with you now.  But I can’t be with you and it depresses me very much.  The only consoling thought is that I will be with you this weekend when I’m home on leave, and then in forty-five days we will be together for the rest of our lives.  It sounds so good to me Carolyn that it’s hard to believe at times.  

I hate to make this so short Carolyn, but I would rather just think about you than write a lot of words that seem so useless to say.  

I love you so very much Carolyn!  I think of you always, and about how wonderful it’s going to be when I’m home again and finished with my time with the Coast Guard.  I can’t wait to see you again.  

I love you!  Take care of yourself.  God bless you us! 

Love, Gene>>

Beautiful!  What my dad expressed in this letter written so many years ago is exactly how he has felt during the past five years.  He wanted to see my mom again.  So I am sure we can be happy that he’s now where he wants to be, in that place we call Heaven, where I hope all of us long to be.  My father certainly longed to be there. Someday, when we are all there together, we will gather around the Heavenly Banquet Table, and there together we will rejoice with all the angels and saints and we will enjoy the promised life that Jesus has given to us!  

And in that place there will no longer be any yokes or burdens, and all of the longings of our hearts will be satisfied.  Let’s encourage one another with this message of faith.  Amen.

I love you dad!