Sunday, February 14, 1999
∙ My Valentine's Day was
uneventful (with regard to any amorous
moments!). I went to the house of one of the friar's sisters and met his
family (i.e. Fray Juan Carlos Hidalgo).
I enjoyed that. His niece (Rita, age 16)
reminded me a lot of so many kids her age. I liked the way that she laughed
about things as we were talking (or I
should say, they were talking in Spanish). His family has a very nice house,
and they really made me feel welcomed. Later in the evening, the girl's boyfriend
came bearing flowers and small posters that said "I love you." It was touching.
∙ I heard (in an email from my cousin Kathie) that my Aunt Mary Margaret
Winterling Bergeron did well with her recent surgery and that things seem
positive. On Monday (tomorrow), I will start my second week
teaching here at Saint Francis. I hope it goes as well as the first week. I counted and I have more than three hundred
students. That is enough to keep me busy.
During the weekend I translated into English the first chapters of the
4th, 5th and 6th grade religion books. Although I probably did not need to do
it, the translations helps me to see the "whole picture" of the texts
much easier. Fortunately the language was fairly easy to translate because the
books use simple words and sentences appropriate for the age. I plan to
translate each chapter as I go along. In the future, it will be a great
resource for me to have I am will save the work on my computer.
∙ I heard from my friend and
former Franciscan confrere Adam Pickett, and am so glad that he positive about his
desire to live his life to the fullest, in spite of his HIV+ test results. I
hope and pray that he does not lose his will to live! He told me that he would
like to come to Costa Rica for a visit.
I pray that will happen. He is often in my thoughts and prayers, and I
am concerned about his and his health.
∙ I got an email from my
confrere Fr. Placid K., and he mentioned there is a large Dominican population
in Lawrence, Massachusetts (i.e., people from the Dominican Republic). Perhaps someday I might be able to be
assigned there as part of the pastoral need there. It sounds interesting to me
(but I hate the snow!).
∙ Things are going very well
for me here in Costa Rica. I do miss Trinity a lot and really look forward to
going back (to visit and hopefully to live again someday). I have over three
hundred students here in the school where I am teaching‑‑so I have my hands
full. But so far, all is going very well. I hope that during the coming year I
can really improve my use of Spanish‑‑this is one of my principal goals.
∙ Last night I watched a movie
called "I like it like that."
It is about a Puerto Rican family in the Bronx and their trials and
tribulations. I really enjoyed the film. The scenes and characters might as
well have been filmed in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. As I watched the film, I found
myself getting pretty "homesick". I got all choked up when they were
in Coney Island and then on the subway coming home‑‑it reminded me of many
field trips with the kids during the summer and with the Youth Club at Trinity.
I know I was not born in New York, but I have adopted The City as my hometown.
I don't think that I will be able to get it out of my blood. I really do miss
Brooklyn and all the great people there. Thank God there are so many shows
filmed in New York‑‑I only have to turn on the TV to get a little taste of
"home,” I do miss everyone there. I was very blessed
to be able to spend six wonderful years there. Already, I am looking forward to
my visit in July. For now, I love my new
surroundings here in Costa Rica, and hope that it will not be long before I
really improve my Spanish.
∙ The name that I have been
given here is Fray Teo (as in TimoTEO‑‑it
is a name given to me by the friar who was most responsible for getting me to
come here). Costa Ricans, and Latinos in general, tend to diminutize
everything (like saying Padrecito
"little father" instead of Padre) ‑‑and so some of my students
already have called me Teoito "little Teo". Life is full of interesting
stuff!
∙ The weather here has been
"cold" (in the 60s Fahrenheit). It has also been
rainy here for the past couple of days. Last night it got down to sixty
degrees. It is not weather for snow but everyone here is complaining as if a
blizzard is coming. I will take this weather over the Northeast USA any day. Yesterday
I saw a man walking down the street wearing a parka complete with a fur-trimmed
hood. He looked like he was an Eskimo. I guess when it is cold here (but warm for someone from the Northeast),
people really feel the need to "bundle up." Everyone is talking about
the weather (apparently, it is unusually
cold). You would think a snow front is about to move in. Even I am wearing
a sweatshirt.
Monday, February 15, 1999
∙ I heard from my Franciscan
confrere Michael Lorentson, and he told me he is seeking permission, and hopes
to come to Costa Rica during the coming summer, in order to study Spanish. If he stays here, he will have plenty of
opportunities to speak only Spanish. There is a very good (they say it is the best) language school not too far from here in
San Pedro. I am going to recommend that he check out their web page at (http://www.fores.com). It might be a good idea
for him to get some information together and present it to Fr. Canice Connors,
the Minister Provincial of his province (Immaculate
Conception). If he are prepared and has some material to present to Fr.
Canice, he may approve the idea because I think he will then "know more than he knows". Knowledge
is always very powerful and it helps to make us look like we know what we are
doing!
∙ I am just about to go over to
school to begin another week of teaching. It should go well. I have managed to
translate into English the first chapters of the 4th, 5th and 6th grade
religion books. It was not that difficult because the language used is very
simple. The proof will be in how I use them in class.
∙ My friend, and parishioner of
Most Holy Trinity in Brooklyn, Zenaida Miranda, called me today. I was so happy
to hear from her. It was a pleasure to hear her voice on the phone. She sounded
like she is doing well. She mentioned that schools in Brooklyn are closed this
week for “winter break.” I guess it will be a quiet week at Trinity
with no school in session. When I was there, we used to open the gym for the
kids during their off days. I wonder if anyone is doing that this week?
Tuesday, February 16, 1999
∙ Today, I have been thinking a
lot about my friend and former confrere, J. Adam Pickett. I know that he is in his
last week of work at the emergency room and I am wondering how he is doing. I
know what it is like to have to say good‑bye to all of the familiar
surroundings of life and to know that the present is coming to a rapid end (I felt like that for months at Trinity in
Brooklyn before I left). I know the surreal feeling that nothing is ending
and yet everything is. I hope if he wants and can, that after he stops working
that he will be able return for visits to his colleagues. I cannot stop
thinking about him as he comes to the end of this chapter in his life. I hope
that everything goes well for him this week. His HIV+ status has me very
worried about him. I really care a lot about him.
∙ Things are going fine for me
here. I love this place, but I am starting to feel a little homesick for the
people in Brooklyn. Fortunately, many of my friends in Brooklyn use e‑mail and
so I hear from them frequently. However, nothing is the same as being there. It
seems like I cannot watch just a little television without some scene from New
York City popping on the screen every so often‑‑it all makes me homesick. I
know that it will take me a long time to feel at home here and appropriately
"let go" of what I need to
let go of from Brooklyn. I am praying for the strength to "let go." It is not easy. The kids
in my classes seem great. I have over three hundred students. I do not think I
will possibly remember all of their names. I am grateful for this opportunity
to be in a different culture and experience its way of life (I am really going to have to get used to
manana time‑‑it is very different from the fast pace I am used to).
∙ I got an email from my sister
Trish, and she told me her daughter, my niece Madison, is walking on her own; I
am so happy to hear the news! Soon she will be running and my sister will have
a hard time keeping up with her. She also told me that Madison is having a hard
time with teething and that it is causing her pain; I am so sorry to hear that
(I guess it gives meaning to that old saying
“no pain, no gain”). I guess Madison would not understand the expression (even if someone could have a conversation
about it with her).
∙ It is so good to know that I
can stay in touch with people through email while I am here in Costa Rica. I
hope that I can stay in regular contact with many friends and family members
through the internet. It is so much faster and easier (and less expensive) than traditional "snail mail." Things are going very well for me here in Costa
Rica. I really like the friary and the friars. Costa Rica is a beautiful
country. So far, my work teaching 4th, 5th and 6th grade religion in the school
is going very well. It is a very big change from the hustle and bustle of life
in Brooklyn, but I think I needed to slow down and catch my breath. I hope and
pray that in the time I spend here that I will be able to learn a lot of
Spanish. Maybe someday I will be able to return to Brooklyn with more Spanish
under my belt‑‑if God so desires.
∙ There are five other friars
living here in the friary at St. Francis. Bertrand Hodes, who is "retired", quite frail and who needs
a walker to get around, Anibal Quesada, Guardian of the friary and
Director of the Colegio, Maury Marhafer, the treasurer of the school (I think he has been here for forty years),
Eugenio Rivera, Custodial Treasurer and Juan Carlos Hidalgo,
teacher in the Colegio and at ITAC (the
local seminary). I have committed myself to be here for at least a year. I
am teaching religion on the primary level (4th,
5th and 6th grade). It is something very different for me (as opposed to the very busy parish life I
was living in Brooklyn, New York), but one of my principal goals here is to
learn as much Spanish as I can. It seems like a good environment to do that.
Most of the kids (if not all of them)
in my classes understand and speak English so it is easy to fall back on if I
am stuck with (or I should say without)
Spanish. So far, everything is going great. Eugenio told me that he does not
have his own e‑mail address. He told me that if someone wants to send him an e‑mail
message, they can do so to his attention at sfrancis@sol.racsa.cr. This
is the e‑mail address for the school. I think that Maury is the one who usually
checks it (and uses it the most). I
am told that fairly soon the whole school is going to be "wired" for the Internet and that
each faculty member and friar will have his/her own e‑mail account. I think
they have worked out some kind of deal with RACSA. Eugenio will probably have
his own address then. I am looking forward to it myself, because using AOL here
is costing me a small fortune (I have to
dial into the local San Jose access number and pay a 20 cent per minute
surcharge). By the way, Eugenio and the other friars say hello. Thanks for
taking an interest in me and the goings on here in Moravia.
∙ I hope the lingual gods have
mercy on me and open my thick brain to the wonders of the Spanish language.
∙ I finished the program at
CeLL (in San Antonio de Belen, CR) in
the middle of November. By then, I was extremely eager to get out of the "seminary" in Asuncion and back to
the States. The friars from the "other
Custody" in Central America (i.e.,
from the IC Province) really went out of their way to get me interested in
coming to work with them after I finished that language program. And so, after
a two month respite back in Brooklyn, I came back here at the end of January to
teach in the St. Francis College and Primary School in Moravia. I am living at
the friary here in Moravia and have committed myself to be here for at least a
year. I am teaching religion on the primary level (4th, 5th and 6th grade). It is something very different for me, but
one of my principal goals here is to learn as much Spanish as I can. It seems
like a good environment to do that. Most of the kids (if not all of them) in my classes understand and speak English so
it is easy to fall back on if I am stuck with (or I should say without)
Spanish. So far, everything is going great. I did not have a stellar experience
at that house in San Antonio. I found myself very bored quite often and I never
knew what was happening there (i.e., what
the schedule was or what was expected of me). It was very difficult for me
to go from the very active life of working in a parish in New York City,
Brooklyn to the near‑monasticism and quiet of that place. It was hard to go
from a very simple experience of common prayer to one where everything was sung
and kind of "high church." In
addition, I almost went crazy with all that rain every day. I was not a happy
camper there. A couple of days before I left, Fray Tom Merrill let me have it.
He ripped me apart from head to toe about everything from my participation (or lack thereof) in community prayer to
my "negative" attitude‑‑so,
I left there with "a very bitter
taste on my mouth." I really enjoyed the language program, but that
was all that I liked about San Antonio. I am very happy to be here in Moravia.
The friars have been very welcoming and hospitable. I love the house and the
kids in school have been wonderful. This place is more in line with my own
temperament and I think more conducive to my desire to immerse myself in
Spanish. So far, things have been fantastic.
When I was staying in San Antonio
de Belen, my St., Anthony of Padua Province confrere, Fr. Michael Englert
and I were together living in that friary, and studying in the language school.
Michael is now in Honduras (near
Tegucigalpa in a place called Comayaguela), and I understand that he will
be returning to the States for July and August in order to discern his next
move. I have not been over to CeLL since returning here to Costa Rica, but I
hope to get over there one day.
∙ Things are going well for me
here at the St. Francis Primary School in Moravia. I think I am going to enjoy
the "laid‑back" flavor of
life in Costa Rica (it is said Latinos
love to work on manana time!). My life pace has slowed down from about 175
mph to 50 mph. I am not complaining. It will be good for my heart and soul
after getting almost burned‑out in Brooklyn.
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∙ A friend of mine sent me the
following reflection on "time".
TIME (cf. Marc Levy, “If Only It Were True”)
Imagine there is a bank that
credits your account each morning with$86,400. It carries over no balance from
day to day, every evening it deletes whatever part of the balance we failed to
use during the day. What would we do? Draw out every cent, of course!
Each of us has such a bank. Its
name is TIME. Every morning it credits us with 86,400 seconds. Its name is TIME.
Every morning it credits us with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as
lost, whatever of this we have failed to invest. It carries over no balance. It
allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for us. Each night it
burns the remains of the day. If we fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is
ours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow". We must live in the
present on today's deposits. Invest it to get from it the utmost in health,
happiness, and success!
The clock is running. Make
the most of today.
To realize the value of one
hour: Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of one
minute: Ask the person who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize the value of one
second: Ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of one
millisecond: Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment we have. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today
is a gift.
That is why it is called the
PRESENT!
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∙ My cousin Kathie sent me an
email and told me that my Grandmother Marie Winterling Haspert has recently had
some serious eye problems. It is a shame that she is not able to have a 'round
the clock home nurse. Kathy also told me that my cousin Andrew Rossbach (my 1st cousin Anne’s son and
Kathie’s nephew) would be going to Mount Saint Joe and not Archbishop
Curley as he had originally hoped. I wish I could change his mind!
∙ I was thinking today about my
visits to the many museums in New York when I lived there. One of my favorites
was the Natural History Museum. New York has so many wonderful museums and
places to visit. I was really blessed to have been able to live there for the
years that I did. My prayer is that somehow, somewhere, I will be able to live
in The City again someday. Although I am happy here so far, it has not been
easy for me to separate myself from my adopted "hometown." Already I am looking forward to my visit in July.
∙ My Aunt Susan Dore sent me a
letter with news clippings about Saint Ann Church on Greenmount Avenue in
Baltimore. It is hard to believe that more than fifteen years has passed since
those two summers I spent at Saint Ann's. Even though the years have come and
gone, I still have wonderful feelings and memories from that special place. I
am glad to see the parish is alive and well. Aunt Susan also wrote about the
coming baby of my cousin Larry and his wife Cheryl. I am sure that they are
excited about the coming baby (as I am
sure the grandparents are). It will not be long now. My Aunt Susan told me
she helped painting for them in their house this past weekend.
∙ Things are going very well
for me here in CR. The house/friary that I am living in is very nice. The
friars here have been very hospitable and welcoming. I really like the school.
It is known to be a very good school in this area. There are more than 1300
students in the school, which has students from Pre‑K through high school
senior. I am teaching 4th, 5th and 6th grade religion and working with high
school students who are teaching catechism to the younger children. So far, it
has been a total pleasure.
∙ Again today I’m thinking
about how it has not been easy for me to separate myself emotionally from the
parish in Brooklyn. After six years there, I had developed quite an attachment
to the place and the people. I have come to think of New York as my adopted
"home town." It is never
easy to leave home. I hope that someday, I will be able to return there.
∙ In a few minutes we are going
to leave for our friary day of retreat. I am told that we are going to a place
that takes about an hour and a half to drive to and that it is "up in the mountains" in the middle
of nowhere. It will be good to spend the day in quiet and prayer.
∙ I got a letter from Brother
Vincent Vivian yesterday and he mentioned that Lucy’s daughter Yadhira might have some
serious health problems. I hope she is getting whatever medical attention she
needs. In addition, I hope that she is okay. I would not want anything bad to
happen to her.
Wednesday, February 17, 1999 (Ash Wednesday)
∙ Today for Ash Wednesday we
had a Mass in the morning here with the whole school‑‑1300 students and 100
faculty members. They had the Mass in the Gym which is very large (three times as big as the gym at Trinity in
Brooklyn). Then there was another Mass in the evening at 7:00 PM. There was
a pretty good crowd at the evening Mass‑‑our chapel here seats 1000 people.
∙ Today I went on a “fact finding” trip to the Forester
Institute, a language school in San Pedro.
I am recommending that Friar Michael Lorentson consider enrolling in the
school when he comes to Costa Rica to study Spanish. It is supposed to be the
best school for Spanish in the country. When I visited I was extremely
impressed. It is in a very nice section of San Pedro and I am told that even US
government officials have studied there. The friars here have also offered to
let me go there for some private tutoring to help with my Spanish, but as of
yet I have not been able to work it into my schedule‑‑I am still just trying to
get settled. I really think that because Michael has been out of formation for
a few years that he would have a very difficult time staying in Alajuela (as opposed to here at St. Francis in Moravia).
It would be like spending three months in the formation house in Ellicott City
without access to a car and sort of under the scrutiny of the formation system
(that is certainly what I experienced
back in the Fall in San Antonio de Belen‑‑and I almost went crazy). There
is some kind of saying that "once
you have experienced Paris, there is no going back to the country" (or in my case, New York). I hope and
pray he doesn’t go to Alajuela, and instead will come here! This is a "normal" friary with grown up men (so to speak). He wouldn’t have to be
afraid to be himself here (and there are
plenty of distractions right outside). Of course, I will plan to spend time
with him when he comes. I will not be here in July, but I will make time in
June. Perhaps we can go to the beach together for a weekend. That would be
wonderful. I will tell him we can sit up all night drinking some Central
American brew and tell stories from "school."
More than likely, he will not have any "Sunday commitments" while he are here.
∙ I was in Costa Rica from
September 17 until November 14 and I did not preside at a single liturgy. I
have been here now for more than three weeks and again have not presided at a
single liturgy. It does not seem to be a priority and I doubt very much if the
friars here would place that burden on Michael either knowing that he would be
here to study. As for me, they seem to want to give me whatever time I need to
feel that I am ready. I am in no hurry! At this point, I am more than happy to
concelebrate.
∙ I am so glad to have my
friend Pattie McClellen (who is also from
the U.S.A.) living here in Costa Rica. It is wonderful to have a fellow
“gringo/a” nearby. Although I hope that I can eventually fit in better with
regard to the language, it is good to be able to have a conversation with
someone and not to worry about whether or not I have been completely understood
(or whether or not I have completely
understood what was said to me). I am so grateful for her companionship. I
feel blessed that we were in the same language program in San Antonio de Belen,
and that we are able to continue as friends, even months later. A year ago, I
would have never believed that I would be teaching primary religion in Costa
Rica. This is just so bizarre‑‑it is strange how life sometimes takes interesting
turns. I am glad to be able to share this moment in time, this Costa Rican
journey, with Pattie!
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∙ Today I exchanged the following emails with Friar
Placid K. from my Province of St. Anthony of Padua:
He wrote: "I'm having a bad day because I am tired,
frustrated and uncertain ... tired, because I haven't slept well in two nights
... frustrated with some computer programing ... and uncertain/uneasy as we get
closer to March 8 ... not knowing what they will want me to do. So I need some
extra prayers and a lotta extra "lovin"!"
This was my response to
him: Dear Placid: Greetings and LOVE
from CR. First of all, I want to say that I love you. You are very special to
me and I am grateful for you presence and love in my life. I feel blessed to
have you as a brother. You can be sure of my continued prayers. I hope that you
are able to get some rest and have some time for rejuvenation. I don't want you
to get sick and have to cancel any more travel plans. I am in the dark about
what you mean by "March 8".
Have you been summoned to the Provincial House or something? Perhaps I should
not ask for the particulars, but you can be sure that if that day is important
to you that I will remember to keep you in prayer about it. Good luck with
whatever it is (or maybe the date is for
the extraordinary “chapter?” I just cannot remember!). Things continue to
go very well for me. I have started to feel the loss of Trinity more intensely,
but I guess that is normal by now. It is never easy to leave "home." Fortunately, I am in a
wonderful place. Placid, I miss you too. Thanks for staying in touch with via e‑mail.
I really appreciate it. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Peace, Timothy
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∙ On Thursday, I am going on a daylong
retreat "up in the mountains"
near San Jose with the friars from this house. I hope that it is a good day. I
hope that I can start Lent on the right foot.
Thursday, February 18, 1999
∙ Today we had a friary day of
recollection up in the mountains near San Jose. It was a good day and I was
able to really think about this season of Lent in which we are entering. The
retreat today went very well. We went to a beautiful place. I really enjoyed
the peace of the mountains. I needed to be there to contemplate the grace of
this Lenten season. May God give us many blessings in this time!
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∙ Today I wrote the following email to my brother
Michael (in response to one he had sent to me):
Dear Michael:
Greetings from CR. Thanks for
the note that you sent. I am very sorry to hear about the fire. I can picture
that building in my mind. It’s pretty close to house isn't it? It is a good
thing that it did not spread any further and that you can reclaim most of your
loss through insurance, but I am sure you would have preferred not to
experience the whole thing. Will you rebuild the building? I hope it is not too
much of a hassle to recover.
The new passage discovered in
the cave sounds exciting. It must be a great feeling to know that the distance
between one spot and another has so drastically changed with the discovery of
some formerly unknown passage. And to think that it was there all along!
Amazing! I hope that I will be able to go caving again someday. I really
enjoyed every single time that I went with you (with the only exception of
an hour during one trip when someone got stuck in a passage for a long period
of time and I was the only one not through it, and free enough leave,
impossible as that would have been by myself‑‑do you remember? I do not recall
who the other two with us on that trip were.)
They are blaming the weather
pattern here on La Nina also. I don't have a clear understanding of how all
that works (El Nino, La Nina or whatever).
It has been raining for the past couple of days here and I am told that it is
unheard of to have rain in the "dry
season." Maybe these are all signs of the so‑called "end‑times." We shall see!
Today, I went up into the
mountains near San Jose to for a day of "retreat." I was told that we would be using the "cabin" of a friend of the school's
principal. I pictured a rustic one or two room cabin in the woods with a
latrine outside. Instead, the place was nearly a mansion. It was a two level,
absolutely beautiful mountainside "mansion."
It had three large bedrooms (each with
private bath), a huge kitchen and dining area, tastefully decorated living
room (complete with fireplace),
garage, outside party patio (with wet bar),
two upstairs outside decks, Jacuzzi and lots of scenic surroundings. The place
even had its own private chapel. I found out that it is one of many vacation
homes of some executive from the Fuller Brush Company (USA) who actually lives
in Miami. He is a Cuban‑American and so Costa Rica is one of his countries of
exile.
Costa Rica is, for the most
part, not a poor country, but today I didn't even feel like I was in Central
America. I guess I have a lot to learn about the things hidden in the hills
around San Jose.
It was a pretty good retreat,
but I am glad to be back in Moravia at the friary. The classes that I am
teaching are going well. I have more than three hundred students. I do not know
how I will possibly remember all of their names. So far, I am really enjoying
the classroom experience. I hope and pray that in time I improve my Spanish. It
will really help me in the classroom. The kids have been quick to help me with
my Spanish‑‑which I appreciate. They seem very patient with this Gringo as he
fumbles through the language. I hope that all is well for you.
Please give my warmest
regards to Pat. I will keep you posted about life here in Costa Rica. Peace,
Timothy
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Friday, February 19, 1999
∙ It is hard to believe that I
have been here more than three weeks. So far, there have been no problems‑‑and
I have not been bored for a single moment
∙ Things continue to go well
for me. Today we have completed two weeks of school. It has been a good two
weeks for me. Friday is my really busy day so when I came back to the house
this afternoon I crashed in the bed for about an hour. I never took afternoon
naps when I was a Trinity (I never had
time). I am glad for the change of pace here.
∙ Today I was talking to a
confrere from the States and he asked me about Fray Enrique Montero (who is now living in Rome and is the
Assistant General for the Missions). I have never met him, but have heard
that he is generally well liked here. This past year, he celebrated his twenty‑fifth
anniversary of ordination. He spent some time as the director of the
school/Guardian here at St. Francis in Moravia. He wanted to be a "missionary" and so he went to some
African country where he taught in some type of school there (I don't recall what country it was). Apparently,
he had a good reputation and so he was asked to go to Rome and serve as
Assistant General. The friars here speak well of him. My understanding is that
he is firmly "on the side"
of the Costa Ricans when it comes to the frictions between the custodies of
Central America (of course, this is no
surprise). Beyond that, I do not know much more. He is coming here for a
visit in a couple of weeks so I will probably get the chance to meet him. I
wonder what my impressions of him will be?
∙ A year ago today, I had to
give-away my beloved dog “Cagney” in
Brooklyn, New York. A parish family adopted her. I have been thinking about her
today, and found tears dropping from my eye.
I know I will never forget her! She was the “most human” dog I have ever known! It is hard to believe that
Cagney is gone for nearly a year. It still makes me very sad to think about the
circumstances of her departure and disappearance. I do not think that I will
ever forgive myself for "sending her
away." She was like "part
of the family" and even though I am not even at Trinity anymore, I
still miss her. It is bringing tears to my eyes just to think about her. I hope
that God gave her whatever protection she needed to come to a peaceful end.
∙ It is definitely my wish to
return to Trinity someday. At this point, I know that I must learn and
understand more Spanish. It seems so difficult. Sometimes I feel stupid as I
try to understand what is being said around me. I hope that I can learn a lot
here. We shall see. My classes are going well. I really enjoy working in the
classroom. I always have enjoyed teaching. I think that it is my "second
calling." The pace of life here is very different from in Brooklyn. But I
am glad about that because I needed to "slow down." In my final
months at Trinity, I was beginning to feel burned out. This is a good change
for me for now.
Saturday, February 20, 1999
∙ Today, I got an e‑mail note
from a friend in mine in New York who is getting ready to go for a license to
drive a cab. He wrote to me the following description of the class: “It is a
real song and a dance to get a yellow cab license but I am going to go ahead
with it. You need to take a defensive driving class for any hack license but
for the yellow one you need 80 hours of school which they send you to and costs
$250. I don't know what they teach you. Maybe there is a formal step-by-step
direction on how to give the finger to another driver and yell some unkind
comment about their mother. ‘Extend your left arm exactly 14.2 inches from your
body at a precise angle of 45 degrees. Bend your arm at the elbow precisely
62.5 degrees. Clench fist with 12 foot pounds of pressure, (this insures proper blood circulation and
therefore color in the finger mentioned in paragraph 234.12a ) incline
middle finger at an angle of 180 degrees and perfectly perpendicular to the
floor of the cab (Not the horizon!!!)’
. . .etc., etc., etc. Who knows there may be a whole manual on how to drive and
scare the crap out of your passenger? I
will let you know how it works out. I
hope you enjoyed his humor as much as I did.”
Ha ha!!!
∙ It has been a good week for
me here in Moravia, Costa Rica. We have just completed our second week of
classes and now will be beginning our third. I have ten classes and exactly two
hundred eighty students to see every week. Not only am I trying to learn how to
speak Spanish better, but also I have to learn so many names. It will not be
easy, but I embrace the challenge with enthusiasm. So far, the students have
been wonderful. I find them to be very attentive in class and very respectful.
It seems like they "want to be good."
I am certainly happy about that. Although I am able to use English in the
classroom, I try to use as much Spanish as I can. If I am stuck, the students
are quick to help me with the correct pronunciation of a word or phrase‑‑especially
the younger students. I appreciate their enthusiasm to help me. I am the
teacher, but I think that I am the one doing the learning! On Ash Wednesday, we
had a Mass for everyone in the school. There are almost 1500 students in the
school (from Pre‑K through High School
Senior) and 100 faculty members. Although the school chapel can accommodate
1,000 people (it is huge!) it is
obviously not large enough for everyone and so the Mass was held in the
gymnasium which (also huge) can fit
the whole school. It was a wonderful way start to the Lenten Season. I am not
sure where they get their ashes here (they
did not seem like burned Palms to which I am accustomed). The ashes were
mixed with holy water and so they go on in a kind of muddy smear. It was an
interesting sight to see (I don't know if
this is practice exclusive to the school here). On Thursday, the friars
from my house went up into the mountains for a day of recollection and for the
House Chapter (which is the monthly
meeting of the friars in the house). We spent the day in a beautiful
mountain vacation home of some friends of Fr. Anibal, the director of the
school. I really enjoyed the peace and quiet of the mountains. It was a good
way to start the holy season of Lent. I hope that this Lent is filled with many
blessings for all of us! This past week, I watched a movie on television called
“I Like It Like That” (1994, Comedy/Drama with Lauren Velez, Jon
Seda and Tomas Melly). I thought it was an excellent movie. It depicted the
ups and downs of a Puerto Rican family living in the Bronx, New York. Many of
the scenes and characters in the film reminded me of Brooklyn and of New York
City in general. I became a bit melancholic after I watched the film because I
realized again how very much I will miss the great people in Brooklyn‑‑many of
them Puerto Rican or from other Latin American countries. Although I am happy
here in Costa Rica thus far, I know it will not be easy for me to live outside
of New York. During the more than six years I lived in Brooklyn, I really came
to consider myself to be a "New
Yorker." My name has taken on a new variation here in Costa Rica. Many
people know that I prefer not to be called "Tim." I think it sounds even worse when pronounced by someone
who usually speaks Spanish (something
like "Teeamm"). When I am with Spanish speaking people, I usually
introduce myself as Timoteo (which is the
Spanish version of Timothy). I used to joke with some of the friars in
Brooklyn that I would prefer to be known as "Othy" as opposed to "Tim"
(i.e., the second part of my name as
opposed to the first part‑‑why not?). When I mentioned this to some of the
friars here in Costa Rica they began to call me "Teo" (the Spanish
version of "Othy"). The name kind of stuck, and so I am know to
the children in the school as "Fray
Teo" (Fray [pronounced
"fry"] means Friar). I kind of like it
∙ I am happy that lately I’ve received
a lot of email, letters, and messages from people at home. It is good to know that I am remembered, and
I always like to hear what is happening in the lives of those people about whom
I care so much. I will try to write personal response to everyone as soon as I
can.
∙ The news is out about the
fact that my confrere Joe Kerwin will be taking a “leave of absence.” In fact, Joe told me about it a couple of
weeks before I left and I have been bummed out by it ever since. He will be
stopping his doctoral studies at Yeshiva University and moving to Albany, NY (close to his family and his hometown of Troy).
I understand that he already has a job lined up in Albany. He told me that he
will probably eventually continue his studies to get a Masters in Social Work (it is somehow related to what he was already
studying). He is definitely “super person.” We had crossed paths a great deal over the
years as we were both in the seminary together in Massachusetts and then lived
together again in our house of studies in Ellicott City, MD (when we were studying together in the same
class at the Washington Theological Union in Washington, DC). It was great
to live with him again for two years in Brooklyn. He is a very good friend of many
friars and I know that this has hit them hard. My hope and prayer is that he
finds out whatever he needs to find out and comes back to us quickly, but
statistically, I know that there are very low odds of that happening. I told
him that I want to be supportive in whatever way that I can. All that we can do
is wish him the best.
